To My Beloved Forthcoming 2020,

Please accept this message as my heartfelt outpour, as I am a writer, this is my medium to communicate with you:

No disrespect, but you belong to me.

By now, you hopefully recognize me (this is not our first correspondence). In fact, I’ve spent many days dreaming of your potential and referring to you by name. We Africans, Nigerians in particular, put a lot of stock into names and their meanings. And you, 2020, may have one of the most powerful names I have come across (outside of Y2K, no shade). The implication being the name donned for those with perfect vision, for those that see clearly. Let me remind you who I am and why I may look so familiar, like one of those relatives that insist you remember them from that one time they carried you when you were 9 months old.

Let me introduce myself…

Continue reading

How to Have More Meaningful and Loving ::FRIENDSHIPS::

December 2018, I had three conversations with intelligent, wise, and loving women that fundamentally changed the way I view relationships. On a holiday trek through D.C., New Jersey, and Jamaica, I put these lessons into practice and was astounded at the results. My journey to manifesting more mutual, spiritual, and meaningful friendships, mentorships, and romantic relationships will start here with part 1 ::friendships::

I can proudly say that exercising empathy is one of my greatest strengths. I can be open-hearted and loving to a fault of my own. Countless times I’ve found myself devastated at how the love I poured into others wasn’t returned back to me. TD Jakes refers to this archetype as “big hearted people” and asks 5 questions to help you know if you’re one of us too (see below). Continue reading

How a Dream Becomes a Vision

In Nigerian culture,** parents typically assemble grandparents, close friends, a pastor, and relatives for a naming ceremony for the child, 7 days after birth. It is an occasion full of celebration, prayer, and inspiration as everyone revels over what the child’s name will be. Typically, the child will have several traditional names, an English (or name from a book within their religious faith), and a family surname. Continue reading

D155: Confronting the Awkward Truth – What Exactly is a PhD? And What Am I Getting Myself Into?

Stanford is a place of privilege. Quite the privilege at that. I am still learning how to navigate the breadth of resources, wealth, and influence, that I am surrounded by every day. I am still figuring out how to explain to my parents the people that I’m meeting and the opportunities that I now have–the kinds none of us knew would ever be possible.

I am also still discovering what a Ph.D. actually is and whether or not I still want one. I don’t have the luxury of asking my parents Continue reading

D115: Your Whole Life is the Sum of Your Relationships

Your entire life is the sum of your relationships.

Think about it.

I didn’t realize how monumental relationships truly were. I knew that I loved my family and that was the most important relationship that I had up until this point. I never considered that my life can be wholly represented by the relationships I build, maintain, break off–it’s a reflection of my volatility, Continue reading