How to Have More Meaningful and Loving ::RELATIONSHIPS::

December 2018, I had three conversations with intelligent, wise, and loving women that fundamentally changed the way I view relationships. On a holiday trek through D.C., New Jersey, and Jamaica, I put these lessons into practice and was astounded at the results. My journey to manifesting more mutual, spiritual, and meaningful friendships, mentorship, and romantic relationships will continue here with part 2 ::romantic relationships::

**Author note at end of post

Personally, my “romantic revelation” solidified on a Tuesday afternoon in a Jamaican gift shop while talking to a young woman from the island named Cher. My friend, Prisca, was inside shopping for bracelets and I was window-shopping next to her happily picking fresh oxtail from between my teeth. Before I knew it, the three of us were embroiled in a conversation about love, happiness, and the appropriate appraisal of one’s self-worth. Cher, eager to pour into us both, told us about (1) her two children, (2) her giftshop and emerging taxi business, and (3) her current boyfriend—all of which were actually related. Right there, in the middle of the giftshop, Cher broke down her rules to finding a good partner. She explained why so many women got it wrong, how so many men take advantage of it, and 3 rules that we must start embracing if we really wanted to be in the romantic partnership of our dreams. Most astonishingly, Cher is only 25 years old, giving free TED-like talks in the comfort of her store. She spoke with such confidence and certainty, like someone with an attuned clarity far beyond her years. Once you meet a woman like Cher, you never forget her.  Continue reading

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Overcoming Periods of Self Doubt…or How to Win a Fool’s Game

DISCLAIMER: It has come to my attention that some folk believe that I “have it all together.” Please accept this disclaimer as my way of saying three things: 1) I am figuring this out (and making this up) right alongside you dear reader; 2) I am not immune to feeling completely lost in tasks that are “supposed to be” routine by now; and 3) Sometimes I have to be reminded (by other people) of the things that I write (because most of my advice for you, is actually advice for me).

I’m still in school because I still have so many things to learn about myself and how the academy really works. In sharing my learnings on this journey, I hope that my vulnerability can act as a harbinger for your future concerns. I post so that YOU know, you’re NOT the only one out there feeling this way, and we can get through this together <3.

    

Confession: I am very afraid. I am a fourth year graduate student in the second year of my Ph.D. and my insides tighten every time someone says, “Wow, you’re almost done. Right??” (cue eyeroll and shoulder shrug)


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Five Things Incoming Grad Students Get Wrong–A LOT

Okay, I know the title comes off a bit harsh. I mean, who do I think I am telling other grad students what they struggle with? Well, kudos to you for being intrigued enough to continue on anyway.

To attend to my earlier question: I am an incoming fourth year Ph.D. candidate in ME that has made a TON of mistakes along the way. If not all “mistakes” then certainly I’ve taken the “scenic route” while other folks whizzed by me and I hustled to catch up. Dear reader, I am merely trying to save you from this wasted time and foolish embarrassment. So let’s dive into the list, shall we? I’ve got FIVE things that I want to highlight. Continue reading