Please accept this message as my heartfelt outpour, as I am a writer, this is my medium to communicate with you:
No disrespect, but you belong to me.
By now, you hopefully recognize me (this is not our first correspondence). In fact, I’ve spent many days dreaming of your potential and referring to you by name. We Africans, Nigerians in particular, put a lot of stock into names and their meanings. And you, 2020, may have one of the most powerful names I have come across (outside of Y2K, no shade). The implication being the name donned for those with perfect vision, for those that see clearly. Let me remind you who I am and why I may look so familiar, like one of those relatives that insist you remember them from that one time they carried you when you were 9 months old.
Personally, my “romantic revelation” solidified on a Tuesday afternoon in a Jamaican gift shop while talking to a young woman from the island named Cher. My friend, Prisca, was inside shopping for bracelets and I was window-shopping next to her happily picking fresh oxtail from between my teeth. Before I knew it, the three of us were embroiled in a conversation about love, happiness, and the appropriate appraisal of one’s self-worth. Cher, eager to pour into us both, told us about (1) her two children, (2) her giftshop and emerging taxi business, and (3) her current boyfriend—all of which were actually related. Right there, in the middle of the giftshop, Cher broke down her rules to finding a good partner. She explained why so many women got it wrong, how so many men take advantage of it, and 3 rules that we must start embracing if we really wanted to be in the romantic partnership of our dreams. Most astonishingly, Cher is only 25 years old, giving free TED-like talks in the comfort of her store. She spoke with such confidence and certainty, like someone with an attuned clarity far beyond her years. Once you meet a woman like Cher, you never forget her. Continue reading →
I can proudly say that exercising empathy is one of my greatest strengths. I can be open-hearted and loving to a fault of my own. Countless times I’ve found myself devastated at how the love I poured into others wasn’t returned back to me. TD Jakes refers to this archetype as “big hearted people” and asks 5 questions to help you know if you’re one of us too (see below). Continue reading →
Allow me to provide you with some more spiritually-guided unsolicited advice. If you’ve interacted with me recently, at some point you may have heard me talking about how I “stay ready, so I never have to get ready.” I want to break down what this means to me and why it’s been so important in helping me reach new heights. Continue reading →
CONGRATULATIONS on deciding to pursue a graduate degree at (INSERT name of your dream graduate program here). We are so looking forward to having you here to (INSERT project/idea that you believe deep down will fundamentally change the world). There are a few things you should know to get started with the waterboarding–whoops! We meant “onboarding” process (NOTE: we totally meant “waterboarding”).
Look familiar? Not sure where to start? Below, you can find a short list of tips to help you start your graduate school journey strong so the above no longer looks familiar. Continue reading →
The first day of fall ’16 quarter (yesterday September 26, 2016) was a beautiful day on campus. Bright eyed and bushy tailed freshmen and first years hustled and bustled to classes and learned just what a quarter system is all about. I cannot believe that the year has passed by so quickly–though going through it at the time, it felt anything but quick. So much about me and my perspective on life has changed. Having come back from a trip to my alma mater, University of Maryland College Park and performing in Washington D.C. I feel ready to take on the world again. My skin is thick, my chin is held high, and I finally have a plan.
I have to be honest: 1) 2016 has already earned its place as the most challenging year of my life (I can’t believe it’s only April) and 2) I’ve never been a die-hard, know all the words, go to all the concerts, Beyoncé fan, and quite frankly I’m still not. But I have the utmost respect for both the year 2016 and Beyoncé. I woke up this morning Continue reading →
As a black woman born to poor immigrants, I don’t have the luxury of relying on “good enough,” I know my work is often inspected more critically. Marginalized identities cannot settle for “good enough” because the sad truth is—we’re taught to aim low. Thus, I’ve committed to Continue reading →
‘Tis the season for putting one’s best foot forward and starting anew. I successfully completed my first quarter at Stanford and am gearing up for the excitement that this time of year brings. Right now, most people are riddled with new goals, for GPA, weight, personal growth, and development. I have spent the past several hours reflecting on Continue reading →